For a long time I was trying to “color in” other people, especially people I dated. If I could just get them to be bold in their truest sense then it would all be fine. In the process, I’d fade to gray in the background, becoming a less radiant version of the person God created me to be.

Some people call this the “fixer” mentality…if I can fix everyone else and make it all perfect around me then this whole situation will be “better”. Never realizing that kind of focus turns me into less than I’m meant to be and often times not someone that is easy to love (what’s up Enneagram 1’s).

Marriage isn’t easy. Relationships take work and intentionality. But what I have learned is that both people need to be living life in their true colors in order for it to work. Both people need to stand out against the gray in the background TOGETHER. Our bringing someone into their boldness, should only make our color richer, not fainter. We shouldn’t lose sight of our growth as we grow together with someone else.

And that’s the lesson right there – it’s not about one person “fixing” the other – it’s about finding someone who comes alive along with you. And yeah, sometimes we have to color in the lines a little for each other, or point each other to our God who holds the key to our paint by number. But that’s the beauty of relationship and why we are designed for it.